Let's Get Married
by PenonPaperFingersonKeys
Summary: James proposes to Lily and is promptly shot down. "Potter, take this ring back you silly git. This is- IT'S NOT COMING OFF! WHY ISN'T THIS BLASTED RING COMING OFF, POTTER?" - all dialogue, lily/james.


**Let's Get Married  
** by PenonPaperFingersonKeys

"You know, Evans, I was thinking."

"Really? What a surprise."

"Hush now, no need for such nasty words. Now, would you like to hear what I was thinking about?"

"Does it involve Quidditch?"

"No."

"Food?"

"No."

"Hm, well go ahead then."

"Well, Evans, I think we should get married."

"_Pardon!"_

"You heard me, Evans."

"Too right I did!"

"Well? What's your verdict?"

"Potter, we're seventeen years old. We aren't dating. You still call me by my last name. The only thing going for us are our snogs, and they're entirely uninvolved – _don't scoff at me Potter- _and now you're suggesting we get married?"

"If you put it that way..."

"What other way is there?"

"My way."

"Oh dear, please don't tell me you're going to inform me what goes on in that mad head of yours. I really want to keep my sanity."

"Evans, listen up. This piece of logic could determine our future together as a married couple."

"Oh? So you're actually going to attempt to explain to me why you suggested we get married?"

"Look, we snog."

"Yes?"

"That means something."

"Not to me it doesn't."

"Well, aren't you just the little slag, Evans?"

"You're cute, Potter. That's your only redeeming quality."

"Really? What about my-"

"Shut. Up."

"Well then...we're actually quite good at getting along-"

"If by getting along you mean biting each other's heads off ever thirty seconds."

"So? Sirius and I fight all the time and we're best mates!"

"Yes, but you and Sirius have the most dysfunctional relationship I've ever witnessed, apart from our own."

"Dysfunctional relationships are sometimes good things."

"_James_...Eugh, just go on. Why else should we get married? Not suggesting in anyway do I find this idea anything but ridiculous."

"Darling, just admit it. You want to marry me."

"Potter, don't make me hex you."

"_Denial_...Ouch! Lily don't hit me!"

"Stop suggesting I want to get married to you!"

"Psh, well you do...OUCH! OKAY! STOP IT! Merlin, you're violent."

"You're such a _wuss_."

"Untrue. I'm braver than you anyway! What about that time-"

"Shut up before I rip off your balls."

"Uh, well, anyway, we wouldn't find anybody else –"

"Are you suggesting nobody likes me?"

"You're a bit scary."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! You just threatened to rip my balls off! You are the most terrifying female I've ever come across."

"You really know how to charm a girl, Potter."

"It's just a talent I have; don't be too jealous."

"I'm barely restraining my envy."

"Very well. Remember, it can't be helped that I'm so much better than you are."

"Arrogant prat."

"Jealous prude."

"Egomaniacal prick."

"Party pooper priss."

"Nice alliteration."

"Thanks."

"I'm surprised you know what alliteration means."

"Well I was surprised that you knew how to kiss so well. Prude."

"Aha! See that Potter? We can't stop fighting for thirty seconds."

"Well, I guess you're sort of right."

"Sort of? I'm entirely right!"

"But..."

"But?"

"What am I supposed to do with the ring?"

"What a moment...You bought a ring?"

"You didn't think I was joking about this, did you, Evans?"

"Well _yes _and you can't blame me! You're not the most serious person, Potter..."

"So does that mean it's a yes?"

"..."

"Evan...You look peachy. Are you okay?"

"JAMES!"

"WHAT? IS THERE A SPIDER?"

"Shut up you stupid oaf! You just proposed to me!"

"Took you long enough."

"We haven't even dated!"

"Hey, let's not forget that's _your _fault. And what about daily snogs we share?"

"_Shh! _Someone might hear you!"

"Evans, we're in a completely empty common room. No one's going to hear us. Now, come on, what's your answer?"

"Well, _no _of course."

"Why? I thought we had a connection."

"Potter, snogging isn't a connection!"

"Evans, I'm pretty sure that what we have is something resembling a relationship."

"Don't look at me as though I'm daft!"

"Well you're being daft! Come off it, Evans, just say yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes! I mean-"

"Ha! There! You are now officially my fiancé."

"Potter, take this ring back you silly git. This is- IT'S NOT COMING OFF! WHY ISN'T THIS BLASTED RING COMING OFF POTTER?"

"A sticking charm may have been added."

"You _prat_."

"_Oh dear_...Look, Evans, calm down-"

"CALM DOWN!"

"This is for the best really. Think about this logically, Evans."

"_Logically_?"

"Yes, logically. We'd have rather handsome looking children."

"...Well, I'll give you that Potter."

"And there is that small little fact that I'm hopelessly in love with you and this is my James-Potter way of telling you."

"Oh what rubbish! You really expect me to believe you?"

"Erm, I did just propose to you."

"...You're serious?"

"Well, no, my name is James actually-"

"JAMES BLOODY POTTER! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"

"I'm sorry! Please don't hit me!"

"Psh. Look, Potter, I really don't think this is a very traditional way of saying I love –"

"..."

"..."

"You talk too much, Evans."

"Did you just-"

"Kiss you? Yes I did. Now when you shoot me down I'll have that little memory to treasure."

"Oh."

"I'll be going then. Probably going to jump out of a window or something. See you around. Well, if I'm dead I won't actually be seeing you – maybe I'll be a ghost? I don't know. Bye Evans."

"_God he's such a prat_...James! Don't go jump out a window you bloody fool. Okay, I'm sorry!"

"S-Sorry?"

"Yes! I'm a big, selfish, scared prat and, although I think proposing to me is rather drastic, I...well...might actually like you more than a friend."

"Like?"

"Erm, well...Don't make me say it, Potter!"

"I guess I'll go find that windo-"

"LOVE! You dolt, I _love _you, even though I'd rather not."

"But you're not going to marry me?"

"No, Potter, I'm _not _going to marry you. Here have your ring back..._Blasted_! Charm it off, Potter!"

"Fine..."

"Thank you. Even though I won't marry you Potter, would you settle for maybe, I don't know, _a date_?"

"...I preferred the marriage idea."

"Don't push me Potter..."

"Fine! Jeez, Evans, no need to be so desperate."

"You make me sick."

"Sick enough to love me, eh?"

"Go die in a hole."

"But you'd miss me Evans!"

"James, I'm warning you..."

"Oh, like you can _hurt _me- EVANS! OH DEAR MERLIN! STOP THEM! ARE THOSE- ARE THOSE KNIVES! YOU'RE MAD WOMAN! MAD!"

* * *

"You know, Evans, I was thinking."

"Somehow I don't have a good feeling about this."

"I think we should get married."

"Oh dear...not again..."

* * *

_**a/n: **Hey there guys! Hope you enjoyed it! It was totally random, not very well edited...and well, I'm a bit tired so..._

_XxPenonPaperFingersonKeys_


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